Bad Feminists



stfusexists says: Lying to your boyfriend about the number of sexual partners you’ve had is A-OK! If he gets upset about it, it’s because he’s sexist!


Interesting that you link directly to these blog posts so that your readers can see that you’re blatantly lying and twisting other people’s words to get a cheap reblog. In fact, what I said, in the post that you link directly to, is that it is no one’s business how many sexual partners someone else has. No one has the right to control anyone else’s body, and to denigrate another person for their sexual choices (especially choices before you were in a relationship with them), and that’s what I responded to. 

Do I think she should have lied about her number of sexual partners? No, lying doesn’t solve anything. I think “That’s none of your business since I have always and continue to practice safe sex” would have sufficed. But he didn’t get upset about the lying, he didn’t call her a whore because she lied. He got upset about her super high number of FIVE sexual partners*. How that fits into your accusatory misrepresentation, I’m not sure.



1: “my boyfriend recently found out the real number of boys I slept with” shows that she* lied about it before - or, at the very least, knew he had a fake number. The rest of your post is clearly calling him sexist for it. Nothing I said was a lie.

2: Even, as you just said, you didn’t think she was lying, “That’s none of your business since I have always and continue to practice safe sex”? ‘Refusing to tell your boyfriend about the number of sexual partners is A-OK’ is not much better. It’s still being dishonest** to your boyfriend.

3: And I really should’ve said this in the first post - a relationship is the one place where sexual experiences DO matter! For a stranger to complain about a girl’s promiscuity is slut-shaming, but for a boyfriend there’s loads of reasons for him to complain: he wanted her to be a virgin so the first time is special; he wanted a girl with as much experience as him; he fears that it means the girl may be more inclined to cheat on him; he’s concerned about his reputation; he doesn’t want to kiss a mouth that’s been… places. Yes, all of those reasons are either petty or short-sighted, or both, and if you had said “people who care about how many sexual partners their SO had are stupid” I’d probably agree - but the point is that there ARE reasons for a boyfriend to actually have a relationship preference in this. And to be visibly angry when it turns out that his girlfriend wasn’t as perfect for him as he thought isn’t sexist, it’s not “he wanted complete control of her body”, it’s just human nature and any sex would do the same.

4: Also, you’re not really suggesting that, upon finding out their boyfriend is promiscuous, no woman would ever react poorly, are you?

5: And finally, because I didn’t notice it the first time: “His reaction stems from that ingrained belief that women’s bodies are everyone else’s property, their fathers’, their boyfriends’, their husbands’, their senators’”. Please explain to me how believing that men control women’s bodies means that other men can’t have sex with a woman? That is what he’s upset about, after all: that other men had sex with this woman.

*For the sake of argument, I’m also presuming the person is a female. Calling the boyfriend sexist doesn’t make sense if the person is also male.

**By dishonest, I mean not telling the truth. I’m not sure whether ‘dishonest’ officially means that or if it means being deceptive.

  1. badfeminists reblogged this from stfusexists and added:
    Just to re-state my goals here: I am arguing that his preference, or his actions, are not necessarily sexist! And as a...
  2. nbcecil reblogged this from stfusexists
  3. homorobotica reblogged this from stfusexists
  4. kinkyturtle reblogged this from stfusexists
  5. passive-aggressive-slut reblogged this from stfusexists
  6. chauvinistsushi reblogged this from stfusexists and added:
    Fuck slut shaming.
  7. sisterlilbunny reblogged this from badfeminists and added:
    utter stupidity. *pat pat pat* That’s okay, you’ll be internet popular now. Just like you wanted. After all, even bad...
  8. imrottentothecore reblogged this from stfusexists and added:
    twisting… badfeminists...stupid blog hahaha